100+ Iconic Airplane Movie Quotes: A Collection of Timeless Humor

Airplane!, the classic comedy film directed by Jim Abrahams and the Zucker brothers, has left a lasting mark on audiences with its unforgettable humor, sharp wit, and a treasure trove of memorable quotes. In this article, we explore 10 unique subtitles, each dedicated to capturing the iconic lines from this beloved film. With 12 quotes beneath each subtitle, we delve into the essence of what makes Airplane! a timeless piece of cinema that continues to tickle the funny bone of audiences worldwide. From the absurdity of everyday chaos as depicted by the film's zany characters to the punchlines that linger in pop culture, get ready for a nostalgic ride through one of the finest examples of slapstick comedy.

Take-Off Jokes: High-Flying Humor Quotes

"Surely you can't be serious!" "I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."

"Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes."

"The cockpit? What is it?" "It's the little room at the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not important right now."

"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."

"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"

"Our one hope is to build this man up as a leader and make the others look up to him!"

"There's no reason to panic, but wash your hands after going to the bathroom. That's just common sense."

"We have clearance, Clarence."

"Can you fly this plane and land it?" "Surely you can't be serious!"

"You ever been in a cockpit before?"

"This is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack, which isn't as difficult as it sounds, because the haystack is loaded in with the plane, literally."

Turbulent Comedy: Quotes from Turbulent Times

"The survival of passengers depends on your fortitude and tongue-twisters."

"It's an entirely different kind of flying altogether." "It's an entirely different kind of flying."

"We have to get this plane down. I don't care about the consequences or the fact that I don't know how to fly."

"I haven't felt this bad since we saw that Ronald Reagan movie, What's the Matter with Helen?"

"Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"

"It could be a lot worse: planes fall out of the sky all the time due to engine failure, storms, and ducks."

"I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

"We've got to get this man to a hospital!" "What is it?" "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

"This might be one of those planes that starts losing its mind halfway through, you never know."

"There's a problem with the computers... they're unplugged because of the turbulence."

"Please listen to me! This is an emergency, and we need to deploy humor immediately!"

"The best solution to turbulence is blind belief in comedic timing."

Laughing in Flight: Passengers' Quirky Quotes

"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight."

"Be calm, remember the safety film you watched before we took off!"

"All passengers report a large supply of peanuts under your seats."

"Relax, just go with the flow—like the plane's flow of air! Nonsense, just say 'nonsense,' and it's fine."

"The summer skies are forever, unlike in-flight meals."

"The laughing gas has spread to the cabin."

"Watch out for passengers in distress; they might tell really good jokes once they calm down."

"This airline promises to make you laugh or least smile."

"That was some of the best flying I've seen, right until he got made into a joke in the end."

"Here at Airplane Airlines, we're trained to flip upside down just for laughs!"

"Please fasten your comedy seatbelts; it's going to get funny."

"Let's hope our emergency exits lead straight to humor heaven!"

Control Tower Chaos: Pilots’ Humorous Quotes

"What's the situation?" "It's all clear, except for confusion and possibly chaos regarding snacks."

"Let's make sure to fly straight! And remember to do some aerial cartwheels!"

"Leader, can you read the chaos directly from your coffee-stained map?"

"As long as you can make the engines feel loved, we'll be okay!"

"Always know where the nearest laugh track is located."

"Houston, we have...an absurd situation."

"Diagram for landing: One hilarious comedy sketch."

"This plane is the fastest thing alive! Except when it starts on a comedy routine."

"We didn't order this pandemonium...but here it is anyway."

"If you can't fly close to the sun, impress with slapstic on the ground."

"Have main control prepare for an extensive comedy briefing."

"If we hijack the laughter, they'll never see it coming! Well, until they hear it."

Comedy in Emergencies: Laugh-or-Cry Quotes

"If Murphy's Law exists in aviation, it does so with a smile."

"I'd love to hear a joke with my emergency instruction card!"

"In the case of emergency, we recommend laughter as your main oxygen source."

"Don a life vest, ensure it's properly tagged—’Hilarity’."

"We'd like to remind you that there's more than one way to exit this joke."

"While making your way to the exits, try not to confuse the inflatable ducks with flotation devices."

"If you're holding someone's hand...just ensure it's attached to the arm of laughter."

"Laughter is about to take off; make sure to follow directions from the comedians on deck."

"Before you assess the situation, consult the nearest funny bone."

"Brace, brace, and have your emergency punchline ready!"

"Remain calm and laugh—it might just steer the ship."

"Make sure to pack extra mirth for any surprise layovers!"

Destination Laughter: Arrival Announcements Quotes

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've landed humorously against all odds!"

"Welcome to the comedy zone; we hope your sides weren't too sore."

"It might be raining puns at our destination. Ensure your wit is prepared."

"The local time is...time for a laugh and a snack!"

"If you're visiting relatives, remind them of airplane-themed jokes."

"Ahead of schedule, and with extra jokes on board!"

"We'll be entering a state of relaxation with added humor shortly."

"Please remain seated while we taxi in some laughs."

"If you need assistance, kindly ask a comedic flight attendant."

"We thank you for flying comedy class, where chuckles are complimentary."

"Your luggage filled with comedy should have arrived—in case it didn't, any laughs are left in lost & found."

"We hope your travels with our airline are as smooth as our comedic timing."

The Love Flight: Romantic Lines and Quotes

"Love is like flying; it’s all about the ascent, descent, and learning to hang on through turbulence."

"True love, like this plane, can defy gravity—but not necessarily logic!"

"The best love story on board: two passengers who found themselves amidst comedic chaos."

"In the sky of romance, laughter is our co-pilot."

"Our love soared higher than the plane could ever dare."

"Fasten your heartstrings and prepare for a journey through the clouds—of love and chance puns."

"Airplane food brought us together; shared laughter kept us aloft."

"When you're in love on this flight, even turbulence feels like a gentle rocking."

"Destination romance, with layovers at silly, witty, and head over heels."

"Peering out the windows, into your eyes, where love echoes jokes."

"Here's to love that makes flight path detours seem poetic."

"The flight ended, but our love story had just cruised to the beginning."

Meal in the Sky: In-Flight Food Quotes

"The chicken or fish debate is a classic—like debating fate or foresight."

"True culinary art is surviving an in-flight meal with glee."

"Delight in altitude cuisine: leftovers made memorable by the clouds around them!"

"Trust me, airplane cuisine isn’t just about filling you up; it's sarcastic laughter at 30,000 feet."

"The secret to feeling light: Laughter and airplane meals both served dispassionately."

"The mystery meat: A punchline that never gets old."

"Unveiling airplane cuisines—like opening a treasure chest of hypothetical aroma!"

"From appetizer to punchline dessert: culinary comedy with wings."

"Combine in-flight cuisine and a sense of humor, et voilà: Dad joke a la carte."

"Savor every bite...whether with laughter or trepidation!"

"Ordering two inflight meals is like accepting a joke twice over."

"Bad meals in the sky can become the best anecdotes on land!"

Flight Crew Shenanigans: Pilot and Attendant Quotes

"The front of the plane isn't just for piloting; it's for plotting wit's end!"

"Your flight attendants are here for your comfort, safety, and hilarity."

"Every pilot's dashboard has seat belts for grounding occasional brilliant ideas."

"Ask the pilot if the sky is the limit, and listen as they cheer on absurdity."

"We may fly short distances with the wingspan of tall tales."

"While you follow safety instructions, we entertain the oddities that make flying special."

"Cabin crew, be prepared for a bout of laughter: faster, higher, and fun related."

"Watch the team pull off the ultimate trick: keep calm, fly on, and grinned wide."

"If you need help, just remember, we're adept in levity management."

"A pilot's day isn't fulfilling without the occasional joke over intercom."

"Our crew will not hesitate to charm you with relentless wordplays!"

"In tough skies, a comedian co-pilot is worth their weight in law of laughter."

Classic Moments: Timeless Movie Quotes

"So George, you are a prelate flying co-pilot?"

"Everything is happening so fast—laughter might just keep pace!"

"Nothing more serious than a comedic approach amidst a crew of clowns."

"A flight without paradoxes is one you've slept through."

"Keep your eyes on the prize, and mind comedically impactful skies!"

"Blast off into laughter, it's the only way to land safely in nostalgia."

"The highest form of safety is humor amidst gravity checks."

"Refuel with love, powered by laughter—it's the way old stories soar again."

"When in doubt, follow the inflight entertainment—the real one occurring around you."

"Some classics never fade: their punchlines become fancier with age!"

"Engaging onlookers have the best view of the irony inbound."

"The ultimate dual end: Jet, then joke, in perfect tenor!"

Final words

Airplane! remains a steadfast classic, not only for its clever use of slapstick humor but also for its memorable lines that have stood the test of time. This compilation of quotes serves as a testament to a film that brilliantly marries comedic timing with absurd yet relatable scenarios. Fans of the movie recognize the genius not just in its gag-per-minute success but in its ability to keep audiences laughing well beyond its release. Revisiting these quotes allows for nostalgia to take flight, rekindling fond memories and moments where laughter was the altitude on everybody's mind. As we reflect on these lines, we are reminded once again of the power of humor to transform even the most unpredictable of voyages into tales worth retelling.