100+ Ambrose Bierce Quotes That Will Make You Think Twice

“Human nature is what we are born with; custom is what we grow into.”

“Man is a beast of prey, though often the weakest link in the food chain.”

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.”

“Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue.”

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

“The nose of a mob is its imagination. By innuendo they smell it out.”

“Self-respect is the fruit of duty well done.”

“The less men think, the more they talk.”

“To know oneself is the end of all true knowledge.”

“Ignorance is the soil in which belief in the impossible blooms.”

“We do not hate people because we persecute them, but persecute them because we hate them.”

“The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.”

“Love is a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”

“Romance is the kind of disease for which there is no inoculation.”

“A bachelor is a man who has failed to form a permanent relationship with happiness.”

“Marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.”

“Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.”

“The heart has its own memory, like the mind.”

“Kissing is a sweet way of saying nothing when words are too coarse.”

“Affection is instinctive, but fidelity is conventional.”

“Jealousy is the art of counting someone else's blessings instead of your own.”

“Lovers are observers of time, measuring minutes in heartbeats.”

“A broken heart is a medical condition known only to poets.”

“Proposals are made in poetry, accepted in prose, and regretted in silence.”

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”

“Heroism consists in hanging on one minute longer.”

“In war, the dead pay the debts of the living.”

“Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting.”

“Battles are won by slaughter and surprise, not by courage.”

“The first casualty of war is truth.”

“Cannonballs are arguments that require no reply.”

“Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.”

“Peace is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.”

“Soldiers are drunks with guns and flags.”

“Glory is a thing that stinks an hour after the battle.”

“Strategy is the art of making your opponent believe you’re doing something you’re not.”

“Religion is a daughter of hope and fear, explaining the unknown by the unknowable.”

“Faith is an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.”

“Prayer is the request of an ineffectual remedy by one who knows it is ineffectual.”

“God: A being whose existence is believed in by those who have never seen Him.”

“Theology is the study of things which no one knows anything about.”

“Sin: A transgression against divine law, usually committed by others.”

“Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens but church.”

“Belief is the acceptance of evidence without proof.”

“The soul is the part of us that dies last.”

“Revelation is a divine telegram from a sender who never replies.”

“Miracles are God’s way of contradicting Himself.”

“Preachers are orators who speak well of a being they’ve never met.”

“Truth is the first casualty of controversy.”

“A lie is any statement not exactly conforming to the fact.”

“The truth is the first thing that dies in war.”

“Diplomacy is the art of lying for one’s country.”

“Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.”

“Testimony is evidence given by a person who knows it isn’t true.”

“History is the version of past events that people have agreed to believe.”

“Reality is the dream of a man who has not woken up.”

“Anecdote: A short account of something interesting, usually false.”

“Evidence is what convinces others, not necessarily what convinces oneself.”

“Perjury is testimony that differs from the truth as stated by the opposition.”

“Opinion is a judgment founded on ignorance.”

“Politics is the art of controlling your environment so that you don’t have to live in it.”

“A politician is someone who promises a bridge even when there’s no river.”

“Government is a machine that runs itself on taxes and excuses.”

“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it.”

“Treason is a matter of dates and success.”

“Officeholders are men who were once honest enough to succeed.”

“Reform is a bill that passes by a vote of three-fifths to two-fifths.”

“Lawmakers are the only criminals permitted to operate legally.”

“A statesman is a politician who has been dead for ten years.”

“Public office is a trust that nobody keeps.”

“Liberty is a blessing so common that even slaves have it.”

“Election is the period during which sovereigns choose their masters.”

“Death is a repose that cannot be interrupted by dreams.”

“Burial is a ceremony attended by those who prefer the dead to stay put.”

“Graveyard: A park where friendship goes to die.”

“Suicide is the act of taking one’s life to spite the survivors.”

“Immortality is the ability to live forever in the memory of those who wish you had died sooner.”

“Obituary: An account of the deceased, usually exaggerated.”

“Afterlife is a rumor started by mortals afraid to sleep alone.”

“Corpse: A person who has stopped paying taxes and answering letters.”

“Mourning is grief’s mask worn for company.”

“Cremation is nature’s way of saying ‘no thanks.’”

“Funeral: A gathering where friends pretend to miss someone they ignored in life.”

“Death is the only event that happens to everyone and is witnessed by no one.”

“Wisdom is the reward for giving up the idea of being wise.”

“Folly is the mother of wisdom, though she never claims her children.”

“Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.”

“Common sense is uncommon in proportion to the need.”

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.”

“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent misunderstanding.”

“Learning is the eye through which we see our own ignorance.”

“Knowledge is proud it knows so much; wisdom is humble that it knows no more.”

“Philosophy is the study of the universe without leaving one’s chair.”

“A fool is someone who reads all the signs and still takes the wrong path.”

“Intelligence is the ability to avoid doing work yourself.”

“Wise men learn by others’ mistakes; fools by their own.”

“Language is a virus that spreads thought.”

“Speech is the expression of thought through sounds that may or may not mean anything.”

“Silence is the most persuasive argument known to man.”

“A metaphor is a lie that tells the truth.”

“Words are the currency of deception and revelation.”

“Writing is nature’s way of letting you know how sloppy your thinking is.”

“Euphemism is a polite word that hides an ugly fact.”

“Grammar is the law that gives chaos a uniform appearance.”

“Jargon is language designed to obscure meaning.”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”

“Flattery is a compliment with ulterior motives.”

“Conversation is a mutual agreement to misunderstand each other politely.”

“Success is the child of audacity.”

“Failure is success in progress.”

“Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.”

“Achievement is the recognition of having done what others said couldn’t be done.”

“Fortune favors the audacious, but ruins more of them than the timid.”

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

“Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings.”

“Success is a great liar; it conceals far more failure than it reveals.”

“The road to success is always under construction.”

“A winner is just a loser who tried one more time.”

“Opportunity knocks once, then uses the back door.”

“Success is measured not by what you gain, but by what you survive.”