100+ Best Anchorman Ron Burgundy Quotes That Are Kind of a Big Deal

I'm not even mad, that's amazing.

I’m kind of a big deal.

60% of the time, it works every time.

I’ve never seen a straighter, more honest pair of legs.

You stay classy, San Diego.

I'm not saying I'm responsible for this city’s sudden increase in crime, but I am fighting one man with no arms.

Milk was a bad choice.

It’s so hot right now.

I’m in a glass case of emotion.

If you’re good at something, never do it for free.

I’ve got a voice like butter… spreading on your waffles.

By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!

You look like a woman who enjoys the finer things in life—like me.

Let’s go back to my place. I’ve got a mini fridge and a waterbed.

I love scotch. I love you. Let’s get married.

Your mouth is like a little flower… a dirty, dirty flower.

I’m coming in loud and clear over here.

You had me at “hello”… and then you ruined it by continuing to talk.

We could merge our companies. You know, synergize.

I want to put a baby in you, metaphorically speaking.

I’m like a disco ball of sexiness—reflecting love everywhere.

You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen while wearing pants.

Our love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably sh*t.

I’m not just passionate about news—I’m passionate about you.

The channel 4 news team is the greatest form of communication since Moses delivered the Ten Commandments.

If an item doesn’t have a top, and it doesn’t have a bottom, well then, forget it.

We're going to have some new faces around here. Women. On television.

Don’t act like you’re not impressed. I’m basically the police.

A lot of people don’t think we’d be able to have monkeys flying out of our butt, but I say why not?

I’m not a journalist, I’m a performer with a newsman’s haircut.

We’re just here to make the headlines look good and the commercials sell soap.

Truth is written by the victors, and I plan to win.

I’ve been doing this job longer than Jesus has been dead.

News is what I say it is.

We must report the news, not chase women. Unless the news is chasing women.

The only thing lower than a field reporter is a cubicle.

I hate sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

I love lamp.

That escalated quickly.

I’ve got emotional baggage, but I also have a suitcase.

I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a legend.

Did we just become best friends?

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.

I drink scotch like a troll drinks pee.

I once ate a whole grilled cheese sandwich in the dark. Just to see if I could.

I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

My name is Ron Burgundy. And if you’re watching this on TV, you’re probably at home.

You fight like a dairy farmer.

I’ve got the moves like Jagger, the hair like Burt Reynolds, and the guts like a honey badger.

We’re going to take San Diego by storm—and possibly several coastal towns.

You can’t handle the truth! Wait, no—that’s another guy.

I will cut you open and pull out your insides. Then I’ll feed them to a goat.

This is a battle for the ages—like Goliath versus a slightly smaller Goliath.

I didn’t think you were tough enough to wear that belt buckle.

You’re not just a hack—you’re a warlock of mediocrity.

I’m not intimidated. I’m flattered you thought you could challenge me.

You’re like a tiny, angry bird trying to peck down an oak tree.

I’ve faced tougher opponents in mirror fights.

When I win, I won’t gloat. I’ll just play jazz flute over your broken body.

I wear cologne like other men wear deodorant—excessively and without regard for personal space.

Plaid is the new black. Also, the old black.

My tie isn’t just silk—it’s a statement.

I’ve never met a polyester blend I didn’t like.

This suit cost more than your car. Probably.

I don’t follow fashion. I *am* fashion.

My hair? Oh, it’s natural. Takes three hours and industrial-grade mousse.

I’ve got a closet full of tuxedos because you never know when you’ll need to save a marriage.

Leather pants are not a suggestion—they’re a lifestyle.

I accessorize with confidence and a hint of danger.

I once wore a cape to the grocery store. No one questioned it.

My shoes are handmade in Italy. My ego? Handcrafted in heaven.

We’re like the three musketeers, but with more jazz flute and less France.

You had me at “scotch tasting.”

Together, we’re unstoppable. Separately, I’m still pretty great.

We’re not just a news team—we’re a family. A dysfunctional, alcohol-fueled family.

I trust you guys more than I trust mirrors.

We may bicker, we may fight, but we always finish our drinks.

If you’re going through hell, bring a jazz flute.

No matter what happens out there, we’ll always have the rooftop.

We stick together, like lint on a polyester suit.

Lunch is for wimps. But sandwiches are for champions.

We don’t leave men behind. Unless they owe us money.

Our bond is stronger than Scotch tape and twice as sticky.

Scotch. Straight. Like my spine during a tornado.

I don’t get drunk. I just become more accurately me.

I’ve had 189 scotches tonight. And I regret nothing.

Bars are like churches for thirsty people.

I don’t need a wingman. I am the wingman.

I once drank a beer so cold it froze my soul. Worth it.

I don’t binge drink. I marinate.

The liver is nature’s filter. Mine runs on premium malt.

I don’t always drink, but when I do, it’s scotch and regret.

I’m not slurring. I’m speaking with emphasis.

Last call? More like last chance to be legendary.

I don’t pass out. I perform horizontal journalism.

Is this real? Am I real? Is my hair real?

What is the sound of one hand clapping? Probably applause for me.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s around, did it really happen? Ask me after scotch.

I am large. I contain multitudes. Mostly scotch.

Time is a flat circle, and I’m standing on it in loafers.

We’re all just stories in the end. Mine has better lighting.

To be or not to be? That is the question. I choose to be fabulous.

The meaning of life? To be remembered. Preferably with jazz music.

I don’t fear death. I fear being forgotten before happy hour.

Am I a man, or am I a god? Jury’s still out.

Reality is just a consensus. And I vote for velvet suits.

I exist because I believe in myself. And because the network pays me.

If you can dream it, you can do it. Unless it involves math.

Success is the best revenge. Especially when served with a side of scotch.

Never give up. Never surrender. Unless it’s to a buffet.

Believe in yourself. Even if no one else does. Especially then.

Greatness isn’t given. It’s taken—usually with a dramatic entrance.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. And also 60% of the ones you do.

Be the hero of your own story. With a theme song. And a cape.

Chase your dreams. But not literally—that’s creepy.

Obstacles are just speed bumps on the road to glory.

You don’t need permission to be awesome. Just a comb and confidence.

The future is yours. As long as you arrive fashionably late.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish. Stay well-groomed.