100+ Best Movie Funny Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

"I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested." — Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory

"Well, isn’t this just perfect? I’ve been shot by a man in tights." — Robin Hood: Men in Tights

"You had me at 'hello'... then you kept talking." — Jerry Maguire parody

"Of course I’m not polite! I’m *right*!" — Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada

"I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not." — Deadpool

"That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for him." — 30 Rock

"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right." — Unknown

"Wow, you’re even dumber in person." — Mean Girls

"Congratulations, you’ve managed to turn coffee into a personality." — Office Space

"Oh no, did I step on your heart? My bad—must’ve mistaken it for something with feeling." — Veronica Mars

"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong." — Homer Simpson

"Your face makes onions cry." — Insult Wars

"You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room." — Unknown

"I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode." — Futurama

"If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong." — Stephen Colbert

"I wasn’t born with money like you—I had to learn how to lie." — House of Cards

"I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me." — Unknown

"I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone." — Unknown

"You must be a parking ticket because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you." — Unknown

"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized." — Napoleon Dynamite

"The only thing lower than you are your chances with me." — Legally Blonde

"I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my peace." — Unknown

"I’m not late; everyone else is just early." — Unknown

"I didn’t think you were stupid; I just thought you were unlucky." — The Office

"Why so serious?" — The Joker, The Dark Knight

"I’m walking on sunshine, woooah!" — Pitch Perfect

"I’m not wearing pants!" — Ron Swanson, Parks and Rec

"I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." — Michael Scott, The Office

"Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." — Dwight Schrute

"I declare bankruptcy!" — Michael Scott

"I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed." — Mom voice, everywhere

"I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom." — Greta Gerwig, Mean Girls

"I like big words. They’re better." — Dr. Evil, Austin Powers

"I’m not lost. I’m exploring alternative routes." — Every GPS user ever

"I’m not weird, I’m limited edition." — Unknown

"I’m not arguing with you. I’m just explaining why I’m right." — Ross, Friends

"I’m not emotional. You’re just annoying." — Ron Swanson

"That escalated quickly." — Anchorman

"Milk was a bad choice." — Ron Burgundy

"I’m not sure what kind of world we live in where that’s okay." — Jim Halpert

"This is the worst best-case scenario I’ve ever seen." — The Good Place

"I’m not mad. I’m just deeply concerned." — Leslie Knope

"I can’t believe you just said that out loud." — Michael Scott

"I knew that would happen. I just didn’t think it would happen today." — Jack Donaghy

"I don’t need therapy. I just need everyone else to fix their problems." — Chandler Bing

"I’m not surprised. I’m just disappointed in humanity." — Dwight Schrute

"That’s not how math works." — Abed, Community

"I regret nothing. Except everything." — Liz Lemon

"I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us together?" — Unknown

"I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-efficient mode." — Unknown

"I’m not old. I’m retro." — Unknown

"I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me." — Unknown

"I’m not arguing. I’m just loudly agreeing with myself." — Unknown

"I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop being idiots." — Unknown

"I’m not late. My schedule is just flexible." — Unknown

"I’m not broke. I’m monetarily challenged." — Unknown

"I’m not weird. I’m creatively misunderstood." — Unknown

"I don’t snore. I dream I’m a motorcycle." — Unknown

"I’m not procrastinating. I’m doing intense background processing." — Unknown

"I’m not lost. I’m locationally challenged." — Unknown

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!" — Unknown

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." — Groucho Marx

"I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough." — Unknown

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y." — Unknown

"I wanted to make a belt out of watches, but then I realized it'd be a waist of time." — Unknown

"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it." — Unknown

"I'm great at multitasking. I can ignore you and forget what I was doing at the same time." — Unknown

"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." — Unknown

"I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me." — Unknown

"I'm trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but good players are hard to find." — Unknown

"I asked the librarian if they had books about paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you…'" — Unknown

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." — Steven Wright

"I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I’ve already finished my milk." — Ron Burgundy

"I don’t always wear pants, but when I do, it’s usually in public." — Parody

"I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m doing it with confidence." — Unknown

"I didn’t mean to scare you. I just forgot I wasn’t alone." — Michael Scott

"I didn’t want to get involved, but then I remembered I have no self-control." — Unknown

"I didn’t realize I was yelling until everyone stopped talking." — Jim Halpert

"I don’t need a therapist. I just need someone to listen while I talk to myself." — Unknown

"I didn’t think it was possible to fail this hard. I was wrong." — Abed

"I don’t know why I said that. I wasn’t even thinking." — Everyone, ever

"I didn’t mean to fall asleep at lunch. I just needed a break from existing." — Unknown

"I don’t know why I keep doing this. It never ends well." — Ross, Friends

"I didn’t want to be rude. I just forgot how to lie." — Dwight Schrute

"I AM YOUR FATHER!" — Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back

"Here’s Johnny!" — Jack Torrance, The Shining

"You can’t handle the truth!" — Colonel Jessup, A Few Good Men

"I’ll be back." — Terminator

"To infinity and beyond!" — Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story

"Life is like a box of chocolates." — Forrest Gump

"You had me at 'hello'." — Jerry Maguire

"I’m king of the world!" — Titanic

"There’s no place like home." — Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." — The Godfather II

"I feel the need… the need for speed!" — Top Gun

"You talking to me?" — Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver

"Stupid is as stupid does." — Forrest Gump

"It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." — Batman Begins

"With great power comes great responsibility." — Spider-Man

"Just keep swimming." — Dory, Finding Nemo

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." — The Dark Knight

"I’m beginning to think that the whole universe was designed by a kid." — Rick and Morty

"Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one." — Pocahontas

"It’s not about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward." — Rocky Balboa

"After all this time? Always." — Snape, Harry Potter

"We accept the love we think we deserve." — The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things." — The Shawshank Redemption

"Don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do." — Rocky

"May the Force be with you." — Star Wars

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." — Harry Potter

"Winter is coming." — Game of Thrones

"You’re a wizard, Harry." — Hagrid, Harry Potter

"I drink and I know things." — Tyrion Lannister

"I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse." — The Godfather

"Why so serious?" — The Joker

"I am Groot." — Guardians of the Galaxy

"I’m the danger." — Walter White, Breaking Bad

"I’m not a monster. I’m the one who fights monsters." — Hannibal Lecter (paraphrased)

"You shall not pass!" — Gandalf, Lord of the Rings

"I’m ready to believe in heroes again." — Captain America: Civil War