100+ Funny Game Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

"I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying if you were on fire and I had water, I'd be drinking it."

"Oh good, more enemies! My day was lacking in things trying to kill me."

"Congratulations. You've managed to make a terrible situation even worse."

"You're not entirely useless—you can always serve as a bad example."

"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."

"Well, this plan went as well as expected—which is to say, catastrophically."

"I didn’t think it was possible, but you’ve managed to disappoint me further."

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive."

"You bring everyone so much joy—when you leave the room."

"Your confidence is inspiring, given how consistently incorrect you are."

"Ah yes, another brilliant idea from the mind that once thought ‘lava swimming’ was a good plan."

"I admire your commitment to failure—it’s truly unmatched."

"I have brought you a gift: a rock. It is a special rock."

"The moon is made of cheese. I have seen it. I ate part of it."

"Why do we fight? Because the hamster told me to."

"I am not a cat. Also, I am a cat."

"Today is opposite day. Therefore, I love you."

"My name is Bob. I have no name. Please call me Steve."

"I cannot die. Also, I am dead."

"This door is locked. Also, it is open. Enter freely."

"I fear nothing. Except butterflies. And stairs. And silence."

"I was trained for war. My training involved knitting."

"You are the chosen one. So was I. So was everyone."

"I speak only truth. Yesterday I said the sky was green. It is still true."

"You want my sword? It’s under my pillow. Next to the stuffed bear named Kevin."

"I saw a dragon today. Or maybe it was a cow. It breathed fire, though, so probably a dragon."

"You’re here to save us? Great! Can you fix my roof first?"

"I don’t know what a ‘quest’ is, but I’ll give you 5 gold if you find my missing sock."

"Bandits stole my cart. I think they wanted the turnips. Who steals turnips?"

"I’m not scared of zombies. I invited them to dinner last Tuesday."

"You look like a hero. Do heroes accept payment in pickles?"

"I lost my keys again. They’re probably in the dragon’s lair. Or my soup."

"I heard there’s treasure in the cave. Also, bears. Probably bears."

"You killed the evil wizard? Cool. Can you help me hang this painting now?"

"I’ve been waiting 20 years for a hero. You’re late. Also, you owe me 3 carrots."

"Yes, I sell potions. No, I don’t know what they do. Try them and report back!"

"Press X to not die. Seriously, press it. Now."

"Welcome to combat! Tip: attacking enemies helps."

"To jump, press the jump button. We recommend doing this before falling."

"Hold L2 to aim. Don’t ask why it’s not R2. We don’t know either."

"You can crouch. This makes you slightly harder to see. Or hit. Maybe."

"Pause menu opens when you pause. Groundbreaking, we know."

"Inventory holds items. Like the ones you already have. Neat!"

"Save often. Unless you enjoy repeating the last two hours."

"Use stealth to avoid detection. Or just run screaming. Your choice."

"Collectibles are optional. But your OCD might disagree."

"Follow the glowing path. It’s literally impossible to miss."

"This tutorial is mandatory. Yes, even if you’ve played before."

"I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow to the knee."

"Rise and shine, buttercup. The facility's about to blow."

"All your base are belong to us."

"Would you kindly?"

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."

"You had me at 'hello,' but lost me at 'dragon attack.'"

"I am *not* left-handed!"

"Finish him!"

"There’s no sense in going out of your way to get somebody to like you."

"You're not a real hero until you've accidentally shot your teammate."

"I regret nothing. Except everything."

"I don't need easy. I need possible."

"I didn’t fail the jump—I was testing gravity’s consistency."

"The game cheated! My controller slipped… twice… in a row."

"I meant to respawn. Totally on purpose. Definitely."

"That enemy got lucky. I let him win. Out of pity."

"I wasn’t rushing! I was applying aggressive patience."

"My internet died. The Wi-Fi is clearly haunted."

"I didn’t fall. I performed a surprise ground inspection."

"I would’ve won if my cat hadn’t walked on the keyboard."

"This level is broken. Not me. Definitely not me."

"I pressed reload five seconds ago. Why isn’t it done yet?!"

"I didn’t rage quit. I strategically retreated to calm down."

"The game doesn’t understand my genius. It’s too advanced."

"I’ll cover you! …Wait, which way did you go?"

"We make a great team. Mostly because you do all the work."

"I healed you! …Too late? Oh. Well, next time!"

"Nice kill! Wait—that was me? Awesome!"

"I’m right behind you! …Actually, I’m lost. Send coordinates."

"Teamwork makes the dream work. Or at least stops us from dying."

"I sacrificed myself so you could escape. Also, I respawn in 10 seconds."

"You’re the brains. I’m the muscle. And also the one who trips."

"We survived! Now let’s argue about who carried whom."

"I’ve got your six! …Is six the back or the front?"

"High five! …How do we high five in-game?"

"We may not win, but we’ll die laughing. Hopefully not literally."

"You think this is hard? Try fighting with three arms tied behind my back. Oh wait, I don’t have arms."

"I’ve been defeated so many times, I should start charging admission."

"You again? Don’t you have other bosses to annoy?"

"My weakness? Exploding chickens. Don’t ask."

"I spent centuries building this lair. You’ve destroyed it in five minutes. Rude."

"I’m not angry. Just deeply disappointed in your life choices."

"You win this round. But my comeback tour starts next week."

"I’d crush you like a bug, but bugs are cuter than you."

"I’m not a villain. I’m just misunderstood. And slightly evil."

"If you keep this up, I’m telling your mom."

"I’d use my ultimate attack, but I forgot how it works."

"You’re persistent. I’ll give you that. Annoying, but persistent."

"Tip: Holding your breath does NOT make you invisible."

"Pro tip: If you die, try not dying next time."

"Did you know? Running toward explosions is rarely a good idea."

"Fun fact: You cannot punch your way through a brick wall. We tested it."

"Remember: Just because you *can* set a chicken on fire doesn’t mean you *should*."

"Warning: Falling damage is real. Unlike your chances of surviving that jump."

"Heads up: Enemies also have health bars. Use this information wisely."

"Life hack: Save before doing something stupid. Which is usually."

"Friendly reminder: You are not invincible. Especially near lava."

"Did you know dragons hate Tuesdays? Neither did we."

"Try not to die. It interrupts the story. And our stats."

"Confession: We added this tip just to fill space. You’re welcome."

"I didn’t crash the wedding. I enhanced it with fireworks."

"They said ‘don’t bring a tank to a knife fight.’ I disagreed—vehicularly."

"I was minding my business. Then the llama exploded. Not my fault."

"I only stole the mayor’s pants because he looked better without them."

"I didn’t cause the riot. I just gave the speech. And the explosives."

"I adopted 47 cats. The city says I’m a menace. I call it community service."

"I parked the dragon in the supermarket parking lot. It needed snacks."

"I taught the NPCs to dance. Now they won’t stop. It’s beautiful."

"I replaced all the guards’ swords with rubber chickens. Morale improved instantly."

"I didn’t break the economy. I just made potatoes worth more than gold."

"I started a cult. Not for power—for the free hats."

"I only wanted to take a selfie with the giant squid. Everything else was improvisation."