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100+ Hilarious Quotes from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is a comedic treasure that has warmed the hearts of audiences every holiday season. This classic movie, filled with memorable moments and hilarious quotes, offers a perfect blend of humor and heartwarming family dynamics. In this article, we will revisit some of the best quotes from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, divided into 10 themed categories. These quotes capture the essence of the holiday spirit, the chaos of family gatherings, and the sheer joy of Christmas. Let's dive into the world of the Griswold family and relive these iconic lines.
Classic Clark Griswold Quotes
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas!”
“We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Kaye.”
“It’s a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club.”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”
“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
“This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.”
“Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!”
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.”
“Clark, stop it! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!”
“I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.”
“We’re going to have the happiest Christmas!”
Eddie's Wacky Words
“If that thing had nine lives, she just spent 'em all.”
“Every time Catherine would turn on the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.”
“You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“Don't go puttin' none of that stuff on my sled, Clark. You know that metal plate in my head?”
“You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant!”
“Are you serious, Clark?”
“Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!”
“He read the squirrels were high in cholesterol.”
“Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.”
“That there is an RV. I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV.”
“If that cat had nine lives, she just spent ‘em all.”
“Bend over and I’ll show you.”
Heartwarming Helen Quotes
“I can’t believe you’re standing here in my living room asking me, Ellen Jr., who is in charge of bringing the cheese bread?”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“It’s a beaut, Clark! It’s a beaut!”
“I just want to spend my Christmas looking at the changing patterns on the walls.”
“I remember how our family used to do all these crazy things at Christmas, and I thought, ‘Oh God, I'm becoming my mother.’”
“Well, Mary, that's the spirit of Christmas.”
“Grace? She passed away thirty years ago!”
“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.”
“Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is? I didn't come to dinner to be judged by you!”
“Is your house on fire, Clark?”
“The little lights are not twinkling, Clark.”
“I couldn't be more surprised if I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet.”
Memorable Moments Quotes
“Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
“Is Rusty still in the Navy?”
“If that ain't the biggest load of cowboy crap I ever heard!”
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody's walking out on this fun old-fashioned family Christmas.”
“Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”
“We’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas.”
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody's walking out on this fun old-fashioned family Christmas.”
“Holy sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?”
“Bend over and I’ll show you.”
“Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.”
“We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas.”
“Is Rusty still in the Navy?”
Hilarious Cousin Eddie Quotes
“Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!”
“Clark, we’re going to have the best looking house in town!”
“Bend over and I’ll show you.”
“You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerine plant.”
“If that warning light is not part of the control panel, then why is it blinking?”
“You want to talk about false promises? This one’s got ‘em coming out the dryer vent.”
“I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're gonna hear about it.”
“Clark, we're going to have the best looking house in town!”
“Clark, we're going to have the best looking house in town!”
“Oh dear! Did I break wind?”
“Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!”
“Yeah, I got a new RV.”
Unforgettable Moments Quotes
“If that cat had nine lives, she just spent ‘em all.”
“Clark, stop it! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!”
“Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!”
“I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.”
“I can't believe you're standing here in my living room asking me, Ellen Jr., who's in charge of bringing the cheese bread?”
“We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Kaye.”
“I just want to spend my Christmas looking at the changing patterns on the walls.”
“It’s a beaut, Clark! It’s a beaut!”
“We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”
“He read the squirrels were high in cholesterol.”
“Grace? She passed away thirty years ago!”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
Comedy Gold Quotes
“Bend over and I’ll show you.”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.”
“We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Kaye.”
“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
“This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.”
“Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!”
“Clark, stop it! I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!”
“I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.”
“We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“The little lights are not twinkling, Clark.”
Quirky Quotes by Uncle Lewis
“A little tree water ain’t gonna hurt him.”
“I can’t believe you’re standing here in my living room asking me, Ellen Jr., who’s in charge of bringing the cheese bread.”
“Don’t drop that on me, Clark.”
“The blessing!”
“What’s the matter with you?”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“Is Rusty still in the Navy?”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“Don’t drop that on me, Clark.”
“Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!”
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.”
“The blessing!”
Laugh Out Loud Christmas Vacation Quotes
“Bend over and I’ll show you.”
“Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!”
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.”
“Clark, stop it! I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!”
“I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas.”
“Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
“This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.”
“Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!”
“The little lights are not twinkling, Clark.”
“Clark, I think it's best if everyone just goes home... before things get worse.”
Joyful Quotes During Chaos
“We’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas.”
“Grace? She passed away thirty years ago!”
“We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!”
“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.”
“The little lights are not twinkling, Clark.”
“Clark, stop it! I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!”
“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”
“This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.”
Final words
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is more than just a movie; it's a tradition that brings laughter and joy to families every holiday season. The quotes from this film have become part of our festive lexicon, capturing everything from the ordinary to the uproarious. They remind us of the importance of family, the inevitable chaos of the holidays, and the sheer delight of Christmas. As you revisit these iconic lines, may they bring a smile to your face and warmth to your holiday season. So this Christmas, gather your loved ones, defrost the eggnog, and enjoy the timeless comedy of the Griswold's holiday adventure.
Dive into over 100 of the most memorable and funny quotes from the beloved holiday classic, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and relive the festive humor.
