Airplane!, the classic 1980 parody film directed by Jim Abrahams and the Zucker brothers, has left a lasting impact on audiences with its comedic genius and unforgettable quotes. Known for its rapid-fire humor and clever wordplay, this comedy masterpiece continues to entertain viewers with its hilarious take on the disaster film genre. Below, you'll find a curated selection of memorable quotes categorized under various themes, capturing the wit and absurdity that epitomize Airplane! Whether you're a fan of the film or new to its charm, these quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
Introduction to Airplane! Quotes
"Surely you can't be serious." "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight."
"It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether."
"Do you know what they say: see a broad to get that booty, lay her down and smack 'em, yak 'em."
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."
"The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane but who didn’t have fish for dinner."
"It'll be flying at four hundred miles an hour when it hits the ground. That isn't so good."
"Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle. It's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes."
"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone."
"I am serious... and don’t call me Shirley."
Classic Airplane! Humor Quotes
"There's a sale at Penneys!"
"I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film."
"I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!"
"You ever been in a cockpit before?"
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"Striker! Striker! Striker!"
"We have clearance, Clarence."
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
"It's the only thing I know how to do."
"I speak jive."
"You got to have a little faith, and you got to believe in yourself."
"Can you fly this plane and land it?" "Surely, you can't be serious."
Absurd Airplane! Situations Quotes
"We have clearance, Clarence."
"I am serious... and don’t call me Shirley."
"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."
"Guess I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking."
"You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel."
"I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film."
"I need you to find a way to make some people cry!"
"Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes."
"We can't do that; that’s inhumane!"
"I can't tell you that; it's classified."
Sarcastic Airplane! Quotes
"Surely, you can't be serious." "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."
"Can you fly this plane and land it?"
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."
"You mean to tell me it's absolutely impossible?"
"It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether."
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight."
"It's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows, and wheels, and it looks like a big Tylenol."
"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
"And Leon's getting larger!"
"They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash."
Comedic Airplane! One-liners Quotes
"There's a sale at Penneys!"
"You ever been in a cockpit before?"
"We have clearance, Clarence."
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
"I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!"
"I speak jive."
"Striker! Striker! Striker!"
"You got to have a little faith, and you got to believe in yourself."
"That's a little flimsy, don't you think?"
"I can't tell you that; it's classified."
"Surely, you can't be serious." "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
"The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane but who didn’t have fish for dinner."
Airplane! Remarkable Puns Quotes
"There's a sale at Penneys!"
"It'll be flying at four hundred miles an hour when it hits the ground. That isn't so good."
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
"Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."
"I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film."
"Can you fly this plane and land it?"
"I speak jive."
"You got to have a little faith, and you got to believe in yourself."
"The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane but who didn’t have fish for dinner."
"Oh, stewardess, I speak jive."
Unforgettable Dialogues from Airplane! Quotes
"Surely, you can't be serious." "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
"You ever been in a cockpit before?"
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
"Can you fly this plane and land it?"
"I am serious... and don’t call me Shirley."
"We have clearance, Clarence."
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
"I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film."
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight."
"It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."
Hilarious Moments in Airplane! Quotes
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
"There's a sale at Penneys!"
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"I'm doing everything I can... and stop calling me Shirley!"
"Striker! Striker! Striker!"
"We have clearance, Clarence."
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
"The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane but who didn’t have fish for dinner."
"Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle. It's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes."
"I speak jive."
"You got to have a little faith, and you got to believe in yourself."
"Guess I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."
Comedic Genius in Airplane! Quotes
"Surely, you can't be serious." "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
"You ever been in a cockpit before?"
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
"Striker! Striker! Striker!"
"I am serious... and don’t call me Shirley."
"We have clearance, Clarence."
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
"The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane but who didn’t have fish for dinner."
"I speak jive."
"You got to have a little faith, and you got to believe in yourself."
"And Leon's getting larger!"
Airplane! Timeless Classics Quotes
"Surely, you can't be serious." "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
"Can you fly this plane and land it?"
"There's a sale at Penneys!"
"I am serious... and don’t call me Shirley."
"The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane but who didn’t have fish for dinner."
"Do you know what they say: see a broad to get that booty, lay her down and smack 'em, yak 'em."
"Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle. It's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"We have clearance, Clarence."
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
"I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film."
Final words
Airplane! remains a comedic gem that has stood the test of time, delighting audiences with its quick wit, clever puns, and memorable one-liners. Each quote encapsulates the film's unique blend of humor and absurdity, offering a snapshot of the ingenuity that went into creating such a hilariously engaging film. Airplane!'s iconic quotes continue to be referenced in pop culture, demonstrating the movie's lasting appeal and the immense talent of its creators and cast. Whether you're revisiting the movie or discovering it for the first time, these quotes are a testament to the film's comedic brilliance. In remembering these lines, we celebrate not just a movie, but a cornerstone of comedic achievements in cinema.
Explore over 100 unforgettable and hilarious quotes from the classic comedy 'Airplane!' in this comprehensive collection, perfect for fans and newcomers alike.
