100+ Schitt's Creek Quotes: Best Lines from the Beloved Series
Schitt's Creek is a treasure trove of humor, heart, and wisdom. The beloved series, known for its quirky characters and amusing situations, delivers witty and inspiring quotes that have captivated audiences worldwide. This collection of Schitt's Creek quotes is divided into thematic sections, capturing the essence of each character's personality and the show's charming and comedic brilliance. From the sharp-tongued wit of Moira to the earnest warmth of Johnny, let's dive into these memorable quotes that continue to resonate with fans.
"You are blind to reality and for that, I am most proud."
"Oh, I'd kill for a good coma right now."
"In the lee of a picturesque ridge lies a small, unpretentious winery... more like a formery."
"I am positively bedeviled with meetings, etc."
"I cannot stress enough how little I was prepared for this."
"Fear not, she hath risen."
"Let us be like the most indulgent of Gods."
"One must champion oneself and say: 'I am ready for this!'"
"Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up."
"It’s like that 1979 hit by, uh, Mick Jagger: ‘You Can't Always Get What You Want'."
"I’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown."
"The world is falling apart around us and I’m dying inside."
"I have asked you thrice now for a towel so that I may wash this town off my body."
"I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine. And I've been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back I tried a merlot that used to be a Chardonnay, which got a bit complicated."
"I'm trying very hard not to connect with people right now."
"I’m simply feeling very attacked right now."
"I like the wine and not the label."
"I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year."
"I have never heard someone say so many wrong things, one after the other, consecutively, in a row."
"I don't want this for us."
"I'm sorry, but if you're looking for an ass to kiss, it's mine."
"I feel like that needs to be underlined."
"I'm not a prodigy, Alexis. I’m a person of very high average intelligence."
"I understood that reference."
"Good deeds don't go unnoticed."
"I’m just relieved my wife wasn’t shot in the street for her coat."
"You make a mistake, you fix it."
"I was in a surprisingly good mood."
"Well, if you’re lucky enough to be with someone you truly love, then you just have to hang on and cherish it."
"That's the best thing about Sushi. You can eat it and still feel good about yourself an hour later."
"Hey, not everything can be professional hits."
"I would recommend not judging a book by its cover."
"Stay humble, be kind, and don't be afraid to admit your weaknesses."
"Oh, I’ve heard it. I just chose to ignore it."
"Well, you've certainly come into your own, haven't you?"
"One thing I’ve learned in business is respect."
"Ew, David!"
"You know, being weird is like a very sensitive journey between your heart and mind. That is how I would describe it."
"I love that journey for me."
"I'm basically like a squeeze toy any dog would love. I'm like a rubber bone, and bop, bop, bop."
"I've done jail time in Bangkok, and nothing in it was terrifying compared to this conversation."
"I was basically one Ariana Grande ponytail away from becoming a full-blown pop star."
"I once wore shoulder pads for nothing."
"I feel like I spent the last few months just existing in this like low-key, high-stakes fight or flight mode."
"My car has a flat tire and I can’t open the champagne.”
"Love that journey for me."
"As the one friend I know once said: no."
"I love doing nothing with you."
"You’re the only thing in this room I’d save in a fire."
"That’s the kind of person I want to be, just quietly strong and full of magic."
"You make me feel right."
"The fun thing about merch is that it allows people who share an interest to show that they share an interest."
"And all you need to do is just trust me, okay?"
"You only get one first time to tell someone you love them."
"Maybe we could just focus on burying the body."
"I’m not going anywhere."
"We’re just a couple of folks laughing and talking and not caring what anyone thinks."
"Any time with you is my favorite time."
"I’ve gotten quite fond of you."
"You’ve made my day."
"I’m starting to see why you’re single."
"Wow, David, you just say exactly what you’re thinking. Maybe that’s why you come across as more of a Taskmaster than a manager."
"Keep telling yourself that."
"I’m not committed enough in my life to be showy."
"Nobody panics like you, David."
"Well, if you need another human opinion, I wouldn’t call that handsome."
"You spent $300 on a moving truck to go a block and a half."
"I was a bit skeptical when your mama first hired me because I didn’t think I was going to get paid. I mean, she was very convincing, but I’m not committed enough to be tricked more than once."
"I accidentally spent an evening watching Casablanca with Gus and I can confidently say, if you don’t want to touch my face... there’s something going terribly wrong."
"Clearly I didn’t get that one right."
"You’ve cracked way more than pop’s formula."
"My face is really obsessive-compulsively blended."
"The mayor is afraid of my wife, she’s been known to throw a good punch."
"That’s, uh, what we here would call the royal treatment!"
"Well, Bob said I'd be getting fired after this conançhe anyways."
"Not you, huh? Well, I think it’s about time you got a little perspective."
"Turns out I had an exceptionally intestinal day."
"I even gave them my password!"
"There were some severance Sundays being served."
"I don’t know—you’re asking me like I know stuff!"
"There’s a difference between simply saying something and making it true."
"I unapologetically checked out halfway through the conversation."
"Let me just maybe try to give a high-five here."
"I got the best kind of news: no news at all!"
"I’ve got fish sticks in the freezer if you want to come and do a sub-zero bake-off."
"Love’s a funny thing; you can’t force it."
"Everyone’s basically terrified of you."
"If it were me, I’d try and fix it, right away if possible."
"Guy came in last week with a flux capacitor, though. That was fun."
"Nothing wrong with a little drama now and again."
"I see love like a refinery—you got to distill it down until it’s pure joy."
"Is it still good exposure if you feel so exposed?"
"Oh, that sounds rough. But I’m sure they’ve all patched things up by the end."
"I just love that you love what I love that other people don’t love as much as we love it!"
"I know I must look almost prepared."
"Popcorn is the devil’s colonel."
"Oh don’t worry, I’ve got something up my sleeve."
"Oh, that’s hilarious! Now let's get back to reality."
"I majored in drama, so take it from me."
"Now's the time to make the best of things."
"You are going to be great, like you always are."
"Focus on what’s happening, not what’s about to happen."
"Get on with living your best life."
"Let's all drink to keeping things together."
"You look lovely, it’s almost spooky."
"There’s nothing two sets of hands can’t fix."
"Be gentle and you’ll see the best in everything."
"It’s nothing short of admirable."
"If you wanna try my soup, it’s mostly just gravy and nutrients."
"That’s really quite fetching."
"So, I said to myself, 'Time to let things go.'"
"Nothing resets peace like gently stirring your own peace."
"Look what the wind blew in. Is that the future calling?"
"I guess relationships are like riding a bike, you just need to balance things out."
"It’s just the way how life is."
"Low bar, but I think I’m aiming high."
"If that’s what you want, I’ve got no objections."
"I keep finding reasons why not."
"You want tips for balancing things? Stay grounded."
"Is it a good morning? We'll see!"
