100+ Schitt's Creek Quotes: Best Lines & Memorable Moments

Welcome to the whimsical world of Schitt's Creek! This beloved show has captured the hearts of viewers worldwide with its humor, warmth, and memorable characters. Our collection features a variety of Schitt's Creek quotes that encapsulate the essence of this delightful series. From the sarcastic wit of David to the peculiar wisdom of Moira, these quotes reflect the unique personalities and dynamics of the Rose family and the eccentric inhabitants of the town. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to the series, these quotes offer a dose of laughter, inspiration, and nostalgia. Dive in to reminisce about your favorite moments and perhaps discover a few you've missed.

David Rose Quotes

"I'm trying very hard not to connect with people right now."

"I just wanted one day that didn't completely suck. Is that too much to ask?"

"I like the wine and not the label."

"This is not the way this was supposed to happen!"

"I’m not going to the hospital unless Moira goes in for a face polishing."

"I'm only doing this because you begged."

"Come taste the wine on Skid Row."

"I'm not a bargain basement fiancé."

"I have asked you thrice now for a towel, so I just want to make sure that we're all on the same page about how many times I've asked."

"Okay, I am wildly over-stimulated right now."

"This wine is awful. Get me another glass."

"I am suffering romantically right now."

Moira Rose Quotes

"Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now."

"I’m positively bedeviled with meetings!”

"Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up."

"You must prepare for life, and whatever it will throw at you."

"One must champion oneself and say I am ready for this!"

"You are blind to reality and for that I am most proud."

"It's just a dot. You know, like a tiny, little, punctuation hiccup."

"I’m off to drink alone, so don’t wait up."

"You must trust me. I can predict this with unerring accuracy."

"I’d surmise you have a flair for the dramatic."

"I must put my voice down for a bit lest it become shrill."

"Heaven’s no proclamation could match its verbosity!”

Alexis Rose Quotes

"Ew, David!"

"Love that journey for me!"

"I have nowhere to wear a wedding dress."

"I'm a little frazzled, but I'm okay."

"I was up all night rehearsing."

"Wine and swine will always be mine."

"Love you, mean it!"

"I was wrong. Never happened before, I’m sorry."

"I'm trying very hard to find more than one positive thing to say."

"So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to gracefully light myself on fire now."

"I just made a delicious tea in a mug that I'm pretty sure is clean."

"I’m sorry. That’s just the methane talking. But thank you for your support."

Johnny Rose Quotes

"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take."

"In business, I’m cold-blooded."

"I have had enough of the milk discussion!"

"Well, nobody's a total failure."

"You can succeed, you have the capacity!"

"I'm starting to feel more at home than I've felt in years."

"Who knew there were so many layers to this place?"

"The sun is shining, and the world's a big, beautiful place."

"You think I’m optimistic? I know we’re going to win!"

"Your success is their failure. Make it hurt."

"We've built something really special here."

"A desperate man in a decent suit, and now look at us."

Patrick Brewer Quotes

"I like how you see the world. Generally through a very shrewd lens."

"You fill my life with laughter, and that's all I need."

"You're my Mariah Carey."

"I'm madly in love with you, David."

"I fell in love with you, all of you."

"I feel like I've found my home with you."

"Here's to trusting people when you shouldn’t have."

"You’ve given me quite the adventure."

"I have a serenade surprise for you!"

"Everything's better with a party, right?"

"Today's about making something beautiful."

"I want to give you peace, David."

Roland Schitt Quotes

"Life is short. Eat the cake."

"You don’t become mayor without a little bribery."

"I am now officially the most eligible man in town."

"Styrofoam is my clean slate."

"This is not my first conspiracy case."

"A conversation with my heart could kill a horse."

"Small-town life is hard to beat."

"That’s the great thing about this town: petty squabbles."

"To err is Roland."

"There’s no shame in wearing the same outfit twice."

"Next, you’ll be telling me climate change exists."

"I’m practically a mastermind."

Stevie Budd Quotes

"Can I be blunt? This place is gonna suck for you."

"I’m gonna call you a cab. Or a bus… or a moving company."

"What a collection of obligatory randos."

"I usually reserve my apologies for the mornings after."

"I’d like to grow old in this place."

"I’ve been on the verge of crying for a while now."

"Dreams take a long time if they’re worth dreaming."

"I'm always a little bit impressed when people figure me out."

"Weird sometimes, would love to have a disclaimer."

"I'm always blown away by how little stuff fazes you."

"I tend to bark up the wrong trees far too often."

"Chill is a big word. Let’s just go with tepid."

Ted Mullens Quotes

"You're brightening my life now more than ever."

"I love you well-fed, sleep-deprived or otherwise."

"You make it all worthwhile for me."

"Your positivity is like a comfy, warm blanket."

"You’ve always been an adventure, love."

"I’m fighting for us because it’s worth it."

"Your joy is infectious, like a catchy cold."

"I believe you have found your passion."

"Just because the situation is difficult doesn’t mean it’s not worth it."

"You taught me to love mango peels."

"Beauty isn’t just skin-deep, Alexis."

"I’m head over heels for your tenacity."

Jocelyn Schitt Quotes

"Why didn't anybody tell me this town had charm?"

"Teaching is not for the faint of heart!"

"Sometimes, less insight is more tolerable."

"Nurture it, and soon it’ll bloom."

"If I can handle your family, I can handle anything."

"You've got to see the bigger picture."

"My heart's a jumble of contradictions."

"I’m on the brink of something good, and I can feel it."

"Patience is my secret ingredient."

"Every chaos has its silver lining."

"Accomplishments take time and a lot of support."

"Your path is forged with every twist and turn."

Family and Friends Quotes

"Together, we're unbeatable."

"Home is not just a place, it's a feeling."

"Family has your back, always."

"Embrace the chaos of loved ones."

"The best adventures are those shared."

"With you, I share my heart."

"Weirdness runs in the family."

"No distance can separate love."

"Shared laughter is the best therapy."

"It's always better when we’re together."

"In our flaws, we find connection."

"Love builds walls around weakness."

Final words

Schitt's Creek is more than a comedy series; it's a portrayal of transformative journeys, familial bonds, and the quirks of small-town life. The characters have left a lasting mark on audiences, with their distinct personalities and memorable lines that resonate deeply. These quotes remind us of the series’ humor and heart, showcasing its ability to reflect the complexities of relationships and self-discovery. The Rose family and the residents of Schitt's Creek demonstrate growth, learning to find happiness in unexpected places and with each other. For fans old and new, these quotes serve as a testament to the show’s enduring charm and wit, reminding us always to find joy in life's little moments and appreciate the unique touch of those around us.