Explore 100+ Witty Sexual Humor Quotes for Every Occasion
In this engaging and lighthearted article, we explore the world of sexual humor through a collection of cleverly crafted quotes. Inviting readers to indulge in a chuckle or two, we delve into different aspects and perspectives on sexuality, capturing the charm and wit of it all. Through ten distinct subtitles, each offering a set of 12 amusing quotes, we embrace the humor that is intertwined with human intimacy. From cheeky one-liners to insightful observations, these quotes paint a vibrant picture of the duality of sensuality and humor. As readers journey through the sections, they'll find timeless humor infused with modern sensitivities, reflecting changes in societal attitudes towards sex. Our goal is to balance humorous content with quotes that lend themselves to reflection about human relationships. Whether you're looking for a laugh, or perhaps something deeper within the humor, this article hopes to cater to both needs. Let us dive into this playful exploration of quotes that celebrate the subtleties of sexual humor.
"Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand." - Mae West
"In bed, it's 6 to midnight... or something like that." - Unknown
"Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses." - Thomas Dewar
"Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex." - Hunter S. Thompson
"Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing." - Woody Allen
"There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart." - Milk and Honey
"Remember, Uber doesn't do morning-after rides." - Unknown
"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. 'Yes' is the answer." - Swami X
"I'd like to be as approachable as a fire hydrant." - Fran Lebowitz
"Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'" - Unknown
"Oh, so that's where babies come from." - Confused teenager
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do." - Unknown
"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce." - Groucho Marx
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be...unless you're dealing with hair loss." - Unknown
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner
"I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?" - Henny Youngman
"Marriage is like a deck of cards; in the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond; by the end, you wish you had a club and a spade." - Unknown
"When your wife says, 'What do you want for dinner?' That's a test, not a question." - Unknown
"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
"Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener." - Unknown
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman
"Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?" - Groucho Marx
"I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I think the hardest thing that my boyfriend and I have to deal with daily is being babies." - Unknown
"If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong." - Unknown
"I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look." - Unknown
"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
"When a man of forty falls in love with a girl of twenty, it isn't her youth he is seeking but his own." - Lenore Coffee
"There's a thin line between love and hate. Then there's about five feet of grass, and then there's us and the dogs." - Unknown
"After a heated argument last night, my wife said 'Hey, are you ready to have sex?' I said, 'Wait a minute. What do you mean by “have”?” - Unknown
"Don't take a fence down until you know why it was put up." - Robert Frost
"We waste time sleeping when we could be being productive... or hiding from nightmares." - Unknown
"Sex is like pizza: when it's good, it's really good; when it's bad, it's still pretty good." - Unknown
"I don't know how to act my age, but I've kicked off my shoes." - Unknown
"I want someone who will look at me the way I look at chocolate cake." - Unknown
"Dating is where you pretend to be someone you're not to someone you don't know, for intimate reasons." - Unknown
"Remember, if you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast." - Woody Allen
"I miss being in a relationship because I miss calling someone 'Babe' or 'Honey' and having no one look suspicious." - Unknown
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough." - Russell Brand
"Dating is a lot like fishing: sometimes you need to throw them back in." - Unknown
"If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried." - Unknown
"I knew I was falling for you when I started using your last name as my password." - Unknown
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" - Unknown
"Relationships are a lot like Algebra; have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?" - Unknown
"Going to bed with music while dating is like putting a silencer on a superhero's cape." - Unknown
"A relationship without trust is like stapling Jello." - Unknown
"I'm just a girl standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut." - Unknown
"Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad." - P.D. East
"I'm not addicted to coffee; we're just in a committed relationship." - Unknown
"When love is not madness, it is not love." - Pedro Calderon de la Barca
"The hardest thing is to love the unmarried girl next door; try not living next to her." - Unknown
"Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein
"Love may be blind, but jealousy has 20-20 vision." - Unknown
"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs." - William Shakespeare
"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." - Ingrid Bergman
"It takes a strong man to be faithful in a relationship, and a boring man to only be faithful." - Unknown
"I have loved many but none have been loved like myself." - Unknown
"A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears." - Woodrow Wyatt
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if not, hunt them down and make them pay." - Unknown
"If sex is a pain in the neck, you're doing it wrong." - Unknown
"Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there." - George Burns
"There are very few men of genius in advertising agencies who can teach anyone anything about sex besides your mother." - David Ogilvy
"There's no better sleeping aid than PJs during a Netflix binge." - Unknown
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." - Henry Miller
"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" - Lily Tomlin
"My best birth control now is just to leave the room." - Unknown
"You can't put a price on love but try keeping it in the budget." - Unknown
"I don't want to survive; I want to live and laugh." - Unknown
"If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine apple." - Unknown
"You must be a magician because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." - Unknown
"Relationships are not about finding the right one but learning to love the one you found." - Unknown
"Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go love that we can get." - Unknown
"I was going to try dating, but then this soul-sucking job came up, and I realized it was better than getting ghosted." - Unknown
"My wife told me to stop swearing, so if you think something's up just know she broke me first." - Unknown
"If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber." - Unknown
"You can't buy love, but you can rent it for a little while." - Unknown
"In a relationship, spontaneity moves mountains, especially on Saturdays and paydays." - Unknown
"Sex is all about the mysteries unbounded." - Unknown
"Hey, you there, with your mysterious smile." - Unknown
"Let's have breakfast tomorrow since I can't stop thinking about bacon tonight." - Unknown
"Red flags are just fabric shaped like hearts, right?" - Unknown
"My nightstand is just depressing without my vision in glasses" - Unknown
"There's a place one can visit every weekend that's always open: the heart." - Unknown
"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Franklin P. Jones
"The love you give away is the love you keep." - Unknown
"The most important thing in life is to love someone. The second is to have someone love you. The third is to have the first two simultaneously." - Unknown
"You know you're in love when you forget to recycle but remember to compromise." - Unknown
"I have dated many, but none have given me the thrill of walking into a door." - Unknown
"A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days." - Tim Allen
"A woman knows she's in love when the visitor cycle turns up with red flags." - Unknown
"Love is when you collide with someone else and break your shoes." - Unknown
"Find the one who makes you laugh like nobody's business." - Unknown
"Love is only a compliment when it's given freely." - Unknown
"The way you keep flowers watering says a lot about how you nurture love." - Unknown
"In the end, the love one gives is mirrored when one remembers where to put the keys." - Unknown
"We're all a little weird when it comes to love." - Unknown
"I love you more today than yesterday, unless you were a real jerk then." - Unknown
"Love is an invitation to learn how to tolerate socks on the floor." - Unknown
"Hearts are like strings made to play a tune, unless you step on them." - Unknown
"Love is knowing you have cushions against all the shrugs of pessimism." - Unknown
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, feed them tacos and then dance salsa." - Unknown
"A relationship of unread messages is like opening expired cans." - Unknown
"There's a place to always meet smiles, and that’s the face in the mirror." - Unknown
"The best things in life are sometimes smiles without explanation and whispers with meaning." - Unknown
"Choose someone who makes your smartphone unimportant." - Unknown
"Rose petals symbolize how many things we'll dance around." - Unknown
"The road to love is paved with gentle turns." - Unknown
"Love at first sight brings magnets out of closets." - Unknown
"A moment of attraction is like a spin of an unblinking star." - Unknown
"There’s a thin line between guessing someone's charm and dreaming of cocktails." - Unknown
"Love is a feeling of acceleration crashing straight into a smile." - Unknown
"Dating is like picking pinecones from an endless brush hoping for a tiny gift." - Unknown
"Find someone you pause in mid-sentence for without questioning it." - Unknown
"Attraction is such a playful event that eyes sometimes dance around it like in a fable." - Unknown
"Wrapped in conversation is where you hope to find those wonderful tangos." - Unknown
"Spotting someone in a crowd can have the same wonder as reading your favorite fairy tale under bed sheets." - Unknown
"There's no denying that a smile tilted at the right time can open dimensions." - Unknown
"Distraction in attraction is purchasing a ton of vulnerability with eyes closed." - Unknown
"Eventually, falling in love is all about dodging time to understand passion." - Unknown
浙公网安备
33010002000092号
浙B2-20120091-4