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100+ Hilarious Christmas Movie Quotes to Brighten Your Holidays

By / / Quotes Guru / 2 minutes of reading
funny christmas movie quotes

Christmas movies have a special place in our holiday traditions, and their funniest quotes never fail to bring joy and laughter into our homes. From wacky characters to hilarious misadventures, these quotes keep us entertained and remind us of the lighter side of the festive season. Whether you're looking for a chuckle, a witty line to share at your next holiday party, or just a nostalgia-filled laugh, this list of funny Christmas movie quotes across 10 sub-themes will surely brighten your day. So grab some popcorn, sit by the cozy fire, and enjoy these delightful holiday witticisms that have become a cherished part of Christmas spirit.

Funny Quotes from "Home Alone"

  • "Keep the change, ya filthy animal!" - Kevin McCallister
  • "Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!" - Kevin McCallister
  • "Buzz, your girlfriend... Woof!" - Kevin McCallister
  • "Look what you did, you little jerk!" - Uncle Frank
  • "You can be too old for a lot of things, but you’re never too old to be scared." - Marley
  • "Why the hell did you take your shoes off?" - Harry
  • "Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?" - Marv
  • "I made my family disappear." - Kevin McCallister
  • "Don’t burn the turkey. Just... don’t." - Kevin McCallister
  • "You bomb me with one more can and I promise you, I’ll snap you like a twig!" - Harry
  • "Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?" - Kevin McCallister
  • "He’s a kid. Kids are stupid." - Marv

    • Comedic Gems from "Elf"

  • "Santa! Oh my God! Santa's coming! I know him!" - Buddy
  • "You sit on a throne of lies." - Buddy
  • "I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite." - Buddy
  • "I’m a cotton-headed ninny-muggins." - Buddy
  • "There’s room for everyone on the nice list!" - Buddy
  • "Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?" - Buddy
  • "You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa!" - Buddy
  • "You call yourself a South Pole Elf?" - Buddy
  • "Bye, Buddy. Hope you find your dad." - Mr. Narwhal
  • "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." - Buddy
  • "It’s just nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for elf culture." - Buddy
  • "Son of a nutcracker!" - Buddy

    • Hilarious Lines from "National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation"

  • "Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?" - Margo
  • "I don’t KNOW, Margo!" - Todd
  • "If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ‘em all." - Clark Griswold
  • "Clark, stop it! I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!" - Ellen Griswold
  • "Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now." - Clark Griswold
  • "The little lights aren’t twinkling, Clark." - Art
  • "You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant." - Uncle Lewis
  • "Save the neck for me, Clark." - Cousin Eddie
  • "Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!" - Clark Griswold
  • "Worse? How could they get any worse? Take a look around you, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell!" - Clark Griswold
  • "Merry Christmas! Sh**ter was full!" - Cousin Eddie
  • "You couldn’t hear a Yeti if it crashed through your window right now!" - Uncle Lewis

    • Laugh-Out-Loud Moments from "The Santa Clause"

  • "Kid, I have shoes older than you." - Scott Calvin
  • "Does this look like a little weight to you?" - Scott Calvin
  • "I’m in big trouble... big trouble." - Scott Calvin
  • "Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?" - Scott Calvin
  • "I invented ‘toys,’ kid!" - Scott Calvin
  • "Seeing isn’t believing. Believing is seeing." - Judy
  • "No shoving. NO shoving!" - Bernard
  • "I DID say that. I did see that. But I DIDN’T mean it!" - Scott Calvin
  • "1,200 plates of cookies, and I’m down 100 pounds!" - Scott Calvin
  • "You’re not Santa! You’re just an imposter!" - Charlie
  • "Let me make you some cocoa the way we used to!" - Judy
  • "It’ll do your tights tight." - Scott Calvin

    • Quirky One-Liners from "A Christmas Story"

  • "You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!" - Santa Claus
  • "Ohhhh fuuudge! Except I didn’t say fudge..." - Ralphie
  • "Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window." - Ralphie
  • "Fra-gee-lay... Must be Italian!" - The Old Man
  • "Scut Farkus. What a rotten name." - Ralphie
  • "He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny!" - The Old Man
  • "I can’t put my arms down!" - Randy
  • "Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beetloaf." - Randy
  • "In our house, everyone ate Christmas turkey 'round the clock!" - Ralphie
  • "I triple dog dare you!" - Schwartz
  • "Now, I had heard that word at least ten times a day from my old man." - Ralphie
  • "Aaaarghhhh! Soap poisoning!" - Ralphie

    • Classic Chuckles from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

  • "Am I just eating because I’m bored?" - Grinch
  • "Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY!" - Grinch
  • "One man’s toxic sludge is another man’s potpourri." - Grinch
  • "Max, grab a bag. We’ll come back for the rest." - Grinch
  • "Oh, the humanity!" - Grinch
  • "I’m booked. 4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss..." - Grinch
  • "Holiday cheermeister? More like holiday hostage!" - Grinch
  • "I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?" - Grinch
  • "Help me... I’m FEELING!" - Grinch
  • "And then, the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of 10 Grinches, plus two." - Narrator
  • "Blast this Christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant." - Grinch
  • "It came without ribbons. It came without tags..." - Grinch
    • (Continued...

    Dive into a collection of over 100 funny Christmas movie quotes that will bring laughter to your holiday season. Perfect for movie nights, festive gatherings, or adding a touch of humor to your celebrations.

    About The Author

    aigift author Emily
    A seasoned editor at AI GIFT.she's renowned for her ingenious ideas in gifting, transforming ordinary moments into cherished memories. Whether it's a personalized trinket or a technologically enhanced surprise, her selections reflect a deep understanding of human emotion and the art of meaningful connections. Through her writing, she shares this unique perspective, inviting readers to explore the fascinating intersection of technology and the timeless language of gifts.