Home »
Quotes Guru »
100+ Iconic Quotes from the Airplane Movie That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
In the high-flying world of comedic cinema, the "Airplane!" movie stands out as a classic, known for its witty one-liners and humorous take on air travel. Celebrating this legendary film, we've compiled a collection of memorable quotes that capture its essence and humor. This compilation highlights how the film successfully embeds iconic lines into our pop culture, resonating with audiences who value clever storytelling and humor. Each subtitle underlines a specific theme or character from the movie, offering a well-rounded tribute to these unforgettable moments. Perfect for sharing with fellow fans or indulging in a nostalgic trip, these quotes remind us why "Airplane!" remains an entertaining gem in cinematic history.
Classic "Airplane!" Quotes
"Surely, you can't be serious." "I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."
"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
"You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital!" "A hospital? What is it?" "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."
"I am serious...and don't call me Shirley."
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
"I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film."
"Oh, stewardess! I speak jive."
"Elaine, it's okay to have feelings. Part of being a woman is being vulnerable."
"The stewardess said... both pilots... can you fly this plane and land it?" "Surely you can't be serious." "I am serious...and don't call me Shirley."
"Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes."
Funny Quotes from "Airplane!"
"You ever been in a cockpit before?" "No sir, I've never been up in a plane before."
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"He said there was something on the wing of the plane. But I couldn't see anything."
"We're all counting on you, Striker. Good luck."
"The life of everyone on board depends upon just one thing: finding someone back there who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner."
"Can you fly this plane and land it?" "I can't tell." "You can tell me. I'm a doctor."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."
"It's a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts."
"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
"I haven't felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film."
"There's a sale at Penney's!"
"Oh, it's a big, pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows, wheels, and it looks like a big Tylenol."
Memorable "Airplane!" Quotes
"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
"I'm not sure we're doing the right thing." "Oh? Probably not. Then again, this has been a big mistake all along. Now's not the time to panic."
"If there's anything else we can do to enhance your safety and enjoyment, just let us know. We'll be...right here."
"You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital!" "A hospital? What is it?" "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."
"Well, let's see. First, the Earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and turned into oil."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."
"Why is it when everyone else feasts on the pleasures of life I get the indigestion?"
"Nervous?" "Yes." "First time?" "No, I've been nervous lots of times."
"Maybe I ought to laugh its first flight off, huh?"
"It’s an entirely different kind of flying, altogether." "It’s an entirely different kind of flying."
"Have you seen Elaine?" "Elaine is with the Captain. They're reading about their outstanding sales performance in that magazine."
"Don't worry, I speak jive."
"Airplane!" Quotes about Flying
"The cockpit? What is it." "It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."
"Flight 209, you are cleared for takeoff." "Roger, Roger."
"I’m not sure I know." "We... we’ve all got to have some idea."
"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
"Surely, you can't be serious." "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking."
"Captain, how soon can you land?" "I can't tell." "You can tell me, I'm a doctor."
"Elaine, it’s your night off tonight!"
"Do you know what it’s like to fall in love at thirty thousand feet?"
"I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you."
"You’ll feel a lot better after a good night’s sleep." "Hey, we're counting on you, both of us!"
"This is Dr. Brody at the Mayo Clinic. There's a lot of powerful drugs in that drug, whatever it is."
Iconic "Airplane!" One-Liners
"You ever seen a grown man naked, Joey?"
"We're gonna make it, you and I, together. You won't regret it or forget it."
"It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether."
"Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"
"You’d better tell the captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital!" "A hospital? What is it?" "It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now."
"Cream? No, thank you, I take it straight."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit doing drugs."
"What a pisser!"
"Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?"
"I'm just waiting for him to take us further. Pass me the Ted lavatory key, Elaine."
"Oh, what did I tell you about giving orders in less than full nude?"
"You might need corrective lens—you gotta read between the lines!"
"Airplane!" Quotes: The Cockpit Chronicles
"It’s purely an interest sensation. Death is considered a small inconvenience."
"The gravity of the situation has hit you, I see."
"We’re in this together, we’ll pull through."
"Who knows what evil lurks within the hearts of pilots?"
"Get to work, Striker! This plane isn’t going to land itself."
"Good luck. We’re all counting on you."
"Flying isn’t what it used to be, but then nothing is."
"It’ll take more than a wing and a prayer to land this one."
"The Captain is indisposed; could you take the controls?"
"Navigating through wit, humor and a touch of insanity."
"Driving a plane is much like driving a car—a large flying car with multiple personalities."
"Give all my best to the next passengers; they’ll need it!"
Absurd "Airplane!" Quotes
"There’s nothing to worry about. It’s only a little turbulence."
"Who wants peanuts? Certainly! Either you fly this plane, or I’m catching a later one."
"Elaine, if you can hold onto your lunch, I’ll land us safely yet!"
"Danger isn’t my middle name, it’s my career."
"I wink at danger and run from consequences."
"Sounds like a great plan. Or maybe we could just sit back and enjoy the nosedive."
"Was this your idea of a joke? Because I think we're all laughing on the inside now."
"I call not crashing this airplane a win, don’t you?"
"The more I fly, the more I learn how little I know about landing."
"If we make it, drinks on me. If not, drinks on me anyway!"
"Please remain calm so that everyone can start panicking one person at a time."
"Just your regular, everyday, routine terror in the skies."
"Airplane!" Quotes with Personality
"The wings were flying, but the snickers were definitely on the ground."
"Charisma, navigation, and insanity; those are the qualities of a good pilot."
"Why hello there! Windy, unpredictable, and a little bit dangerous.
My kinda day on the job!"
"Look, honey, you're beautiful, but I’m trying to not get us killed here."
"Confidence is knowing you don’t need to have a clue."
"You like me more when the plane isn’t pitching, huh?"
"Are we dead yet? No? Good, then let's keep flying!"
"The secret to a good landing? Avoiding one at all costs!"
"Fear can be a co-pilot but never the navigator."
"Flying high and praying low, that’s my motto."
"Wisdom doesn’t fly itself, but I sure will."
"You know, at thirty thousand feet, who am I kidding? I’m not a philosopher!"
Hilarious "Airplane!" Quotes
"I remember my first flight like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not yesterday, but last week."
"This is your captain speaking. I’m navigating WiFi signals at the moment."
"Brace yourself! For some giggles, turbulence, and probably a safe landing."
"If coffee can take off, so can we."
"In the air, or the sky, we joke to fight off boredom, and maybe death."
"Once upon a bad choice, we dared to fly."
"If laughter is contagious, why isn’t it epidemic here?"
"Flying is living; landing is an option."
"Cherished memories are free. Admission to use this quote system isn’t, though!"
"Crazy life brings crazy people; don't worry, I got their license cards."
"Having second thoughts mid-air is my daily bread."
"To fly or not to fly? Well, I’m on board already!"
"Airplane!" Quotes to Remember
"I asked for the altitude not the attitude!"
"One wrong move and I write my own chapter."
"She asked, 'Can you fly?' I said, 'Can you swim?'"
"There must be a better way to travel than this!"
"Altitude adjustment is the real exercise up here."
"I don’t remember agreeing to high stakes." "And I don’t recall giving them a say!"
"Coffee’s a friend till it spills. And when it does, your suit shows it."
"Elaine, remember the mix-ups in flight school? This feels eerily similar!"
"Silence of the air is where I find my humor."
"You’re my co-pilot in this absurd journey we call life."
"Stewardess, is that the sage advice, or should we actually run for cover?"
"To the one who’s had enough – landing might be your happy ending!"
Final words
"Airplane!" continues to fly high in our memories—a timeless embodiment of humor and fearless comedic expression. This collection of quotes captures its signature blend of satire and wit, immortalizing moments that remain beloved by fans worldwide. From unforgettable exchanges in the cockpit to hilariously absurd one-liners, the movie's dialogue is as iconic as its plot. Each of the provided categories speaks to the versatility of comedic writing that uncannily rings true across generations. Sharing these lines with friends or enjoying them in solitude reinstates the film’s undeniable influence in the comedy genre. "Airplane!" is a testament to the power of laughter, and these quotes invite us to cherish its legacy, one chuckle at a time.
Discover over 100 timeless and hilarious quotes from the classic Airplane movie. Perfect for fans looking to relive iconic moments and explore funny, memorable lines.
