Summary: "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," a comedy filled with memorable lines and unforgettable scenes, has left an indelible mark on popular culture. In this article, we've compiled the best quotes from the movie under ten different themes. These quotes capture the essence of each character and the hilarity that ensues in the world of NASCAR. Join us on this journey through the wit and wisdom of Ricky Bobby and his crew.
Ricky Bobby Inspirational Quotes
“If you ain’t first, you’re last.”
“I'm just a big, hairy, American winning machine.”
“I've learned that one of life's most important lessons comes from being the absolute best.”
“With great power comes great responsibility.”
“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says, like, I wanna be formal, but I’m here to party too.”
“It’s the fastest who get paid, and it's the fastest who get laid.”
“Shake and Bake!”
“America is all about speed. Hot, nasty speed.”
“Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for my family, my two beautiful sons: Walker and Texas Ranger.”
“We go together like cocaine and waffles.”
“I wanna go fast!”
“Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Help me, Tom Cruise!”
Ricky Bobby Funny Quotes
“I hope you have sons, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes.”
“And they have their legs taken away! I mean, I pray you know that pain and that hurt.”
“Help me, Oprah Winfrey! Help me, Tom Cruise!”
“I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.”
“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt.”
“My friends say I suffer from E.D.: excessive domination.”
“My teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. I said Washington, D.C.”
“When you work on your mysterious lady parts and income you’ll get paid!”
“I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge.”
“If I could have a butler like Mr. French, it would be ideal.”
“Dear tiny infant Jesus...a golden fleece diaper.”
“You're not gonna want to hear this because it might sound a little harsh, but Ricky's right, baby.”
Cal Naughton Jr. Quotes
“Shake and Bake!”
“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt.”
“Now, you're dismissing the first important part of a personalized license plate: it's personalized.”
“Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah!”
“Guess what? It's my house, you son of a gun!”
“I gotta question for you. Do you know what happens when a race car driver doesn't participate in the race?”
“Nothing. They stay home. They don't get water bottles tossed at 'em, and they sure as heck don’t get pushed by a guy wearing a cowboy hat.”
“I was like a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”
“I'm NASCAR! I'm NASCAR!”
“My last name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy.”
“Let's go! It's bank fraud, folks!”
“If you’re not first, you’re last!”
Texas Ranger & Walker Quotes
“Shut up, Chip, or I’ll go ape-shit on your ass!”
“Dad, you made that grace your bitch!”
“Anarchy! Anarchy! I don't even know what that means, but I love it!”
“I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.”
“If you break it, you bought it, man!”
“I spilled more than that when I was a kid and I'm still pretty spry. Man, I'm so jacked up on Mountain Dew!”
“Let the boy watch.”
“I like to keep my kid's helmets loose so everyone walks about with concussions.”
“We wasted good whiskey on poop balloons.”
“I'm gonna go fast.”
“Dad, we came to take you home.”
“I'm still the best there is. Plain and simple.”
Jean Girard Quotes
“My name is Jean Girard, and I am a racing car driver just like you.”
“Except I am from Formula Un.”
“You see, yours, Ricky Bubbly...it make me cry!”
“People ask me, 'Jean, why do you drive with the dog in the car?' It's always the same. Because he enjoys it.”
“The doctor told me I suffered from inflammation of the imagination.”
“I just lost my papers on the crapper. Bad form.”
“You speak like you're in a country western.”
“Why should I stop after the race?”
“May God be with you.”
“Your tears say more than real evidence ever could.”
“That is because I am French.”
“I am the best there ever was.”
Lucius Washington Quotes
“I love crepes.”
“I’ll take it, let’s fold the map up and put it away.”
“We just got a steel-cage death match with the Bear-Man coming up.”
“Well let me just quote the late great Colonel Sanders, who said ‘I’m too drunk to taste this chicken’.”
“This is covered in nowhere in the Bible.”
“You don’t understand. This is the first time Louisiana Leopard visited the steel cage.”
“I still got a strong finish.”
“Top of the Food Chain!”
“Your Talladega wet dream has come true.”
“When you made that gene thrust to the inside, you were like a pissed-off badger, you know what I’m saying?”
“He’s not gonna be too happy when he finds out that we tied his dog to the back bumper.”
“I have a sense of accomplishment. That’s what the game is all about.”
Reese Bobby Quotes
“If you ain't first, you're last.”
“Well, I was high when I said that.”
“Winning ain't everything. It's the only thing.”
“Read the Tesla autobiography.”
“If it's got hair, it's fair game.”
“Find your balls and get back in there.”
“This is an unexpected side effect of passing gas.”
“Ricky, when you grow up, you wanna be winning.”
“Well, sure, it says that. But the bigger lesson is: just go do what feels right.”
“It's all about getting in there and doing the laps with your heart, son.”
“Do you know how stunning that victory was?”
“What you gotta know is this is a game of inches.”
Ricky Bobby’s Motto Quotes
“If you ain’t first, you’re last.”
“Just go do what feels right.”
“Shake and Bake.”
“Dear eight-pound, six-ounce, newborn infant Jesus.”
“I’m the best there is, plain and simple.”
“I live my life one quarter-mile at a time.”
“Bingo bongo.”
“I like to picture Jesus as rocking out on the electric guitar.”
“The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.”
“When I'm about to lose a race, I cowgirl up.”
“I’m Ricky Bobby, and if you’re not first, you’re last.”
“You don’t need to go to Harvard to think that.”
Carly Bobby Quotes
“I will not shake it.”
“Are you kidding? I’m not embarrassed!”
“You're Ricky Bobby's wife, or you can be the closest thing to a winner's wife.”
“If you ain’t first, you’re last.”
“This is a clear violation.”
“I want you Ricky.”
“If you’re not first, you’re last.”
“There ain’t nothin’ more frightenin’ than drivin’ with a live cougar in the car.”
“I’m not your sugar daddy.”
“What is going on?”
“You’re gonna love this life, Ricky.”
“My favorite piece of silver... the penis pencil holder.”
Susan Quotes
“Remember, you don't have to work.”
“You can just be you, and that's great.”
“You deserve better.”
“If you’re not first, you’re last.”
“What kind of person are you?”
“You know I'm die hard.”
“The universe is infinite.”
“Life is for the living, Ricky.”
“If you’re not first, you’re last.”
“This whole country is crazy.”
“You don’t even got a sense of decency.”
“It’s time to live our dreams.”
Final words
Conclusion: The hilarious and unforgettable quotes from "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" never fail to bring laughter. Whether it's the fierce, competitive spirit of Ricky Bobby or the hilarious outbursts from Cal Naughton Jr., these quotes offer endless entertainment. Each character brings their own style of humor and wisdom, making them all memorable in their unique ways. These quotes remind us to take life less seriously, embrace our quirks, and always strive to "go fast." Talladega Nights continues to be a goldmine of comedic lines and lessons about life, racing, and the true definition of winning.
Explore over 100 memorable Ricky Bobby quotes from Talladega Nights. Discover the humor and wisdom in these iconic lines, perfect for fans of the racing comedy.
